That day was a Sunday. There were a lot of people. Parents and kids waking up early and going out together for early breakfast at the shop selling overpriced nyonya delicacies. Yet it still bothers me that there is a line there waiting to give their orders and pay for the kuih they took. Worst still I was in the line carrying a small portion of Bihun Siam wrapped in banana leaves and ordering a cup of coffee. What a disgrace...
As I was munching down my food I see lots of happy faces passing by me. I felt a little uneasy. the feeling I had, how should I explain it. Well imagine kids holding hands with their parents smiling, enjoying themselves, the sense of having a great time with someone close. Everything is all white, bright and dreamy. And there right next to the nyonya delicacy shop, there is this table, sat a man, alone, all dark and gloomy, couldn't move an inch, no, in some ways he didn't dare to move. He fears that any slight mistakes he did would ruin the happiness around him... he fears that one day his hands might move by themselves and grab hold of someone smiling happily... a kid and snap the poor kid into two... OK my story is getting sick.
But then I did sense a hint of hatred and jealousy and disappointment. At the same time I was quite comfortable being alone. Being the shadows among men. If not for the light men wouldn't know that they have shadows. Anyways OK I didn't think of snapping the kid into two but then there is always this impression that everyone is walking in slow motion, happily and you are the only one in normal speed, grinding on your own teeth and biting your lips seeing all the happiness hahaha. Maybe that's just me.
"what is human? — nothing but a being of malice and misery"
Malice Mizer
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