What a sleepy day today. I guess I didn't have much sleep lastnight... at the proper time. Took a nap around 7pm since I was sleepy at the moment. Ended up waking up at 11pm. Had a dream. Something I am not really fond of at the moment. I mean if it was last time, yeah maybe it was a good dream but now it's just something I don't really feel like being reminded of in a dream.
There have been lots of friends coming and going in my life. I wish the going part just doesn't happen. I am sure everyone wish so. I doubt you would call them friends if you wish for the going part. Anyhow, lately I just don't consider those who left me here friends. Forsakening you shouldn't be one of your friends' strong points, that's how I see it.
But then again there are those that I cherish for life. When you are with them, they just feels like mothers, fathers or brothers and sisters. You'll never go wrong when you have those feelings. Those that shares your bad times when you are down and there is no one there, those that just makes everyday living hell doesn't seem so bad and gives you a glimpse of heaven.
Well I guess the person in my dream was kind of like a sister. I mean what more can I compare her to right? Always sharing the pain, sacrificing herself at times, in a way fed me and my buddies, just plain old having fun. I guess she gave me a glimpse of heaven in what should be a terrible place. Well, that was quite a while ago and she is no longer around. No... she is not dead. Just unable to be contacted. Tried so many times. Sometimes I wish she was dead and I know about it. That would have been a better option rather than hanging here wondering what happened to her.
I just don't know what is in her mind but I just can't understand people who don't want to keep in contact and don't want to be contacted. Sigh. That is why this dream was classified as a bad one. Part of me felt glad to have actually seen her in that dream. But part of me just feel so pissed off and just felt like telling her to get the fuck out of my face. I just felt like telling her how selfish she has been, how she had made me feel all this while, all the time when I needed her around and all the time that I was worried sick.
Sometimes I feel that it's true. People are closest to you hurts you the most... Makes me think that I should take a step back from everyone. I just don't feel like being hurt from a mere dream all the time...
