Thursday, September 20, 2007

Sleepless...

Sigh, this is the third night I couldn't sleep. I have no idea why. Maybe I am nervous about the upcoming interview I am going to have the day after tomorrow. Maybe my body is getting used to sleeping around 4 or 5 in the morning and waking up early and suffering the rest of the day in the office. Maybe it's just this awful quietness in my life that seems to make every little sound seems so clear reminding me of how quiet and lonesome my life is. Hey, I wish I know the reason. I really need the sleep.


I am pretty nervous about the upcoming interview definately. It's my one and only interview lately. Need a job fast. Plus there were a few things that bothered me. Like am I prepared to answer the questions given? Will I forget something that I should have bring along? Will I get the job? Will my work be up to their standards? Is this the right choice? There is just so many questions in my mind I think it's keeping me awake. I've always been careful with things, thinking about every inch of possibilities, make proper plans for my life. Somehow this seems to be a double edge sword for me. Sometimes it just makes me worry too much. Well, still think it's good to be prepared.


Thing just gets worse with all the quietness around me. Nervous and quiet environment just doesn't work together very well; at least for me. It just makes my thoughts clearer and the questions are flooding my mind. The terror. I don't know why but somehow deep in me, I always expected at least some people to care and be concerned about how the situation is. Maybe it's just me. I don't mind the quiet life, as long as there is something to do. But when you have nothing to do and the environment is so quiet and you have tonnes of questions in your mind, it's just not good. somehow I think I am growing crazier as time past.


The TV shows aren't helping either. Lately the constant streaming of TV shows and stuff are probably making my body and mind adapt to new sleeping times. Nevertheless the fact that I do not have enough sleep is still there. Funny how I used to be able to go on with my day with just 4 hours of sleep everyday.


I guess I should go to sleep. Nothing much to do. The TV shows aren't streaming any faster and I need sleep badly and someone to talk to. I just wish there was someone around where I could just go "Hey sorry to bother you so late at night. Can't seem to sleep. Wanna talk?". Know what I mean? At this point whenever I say that it kind of make me feel like a baby HAH. And if I ever tell someone that, they would usually push the responsibility to someone else. Not that I am blaming them. I know it's not their problem why should they even care right? I think if someone were around and I would be able to talk to them face to face or through a call or something I think I would just fall asleep on my bed peacefully. No offense to the person whom I am talking to. Not that the person is boring or anything. I think I would be able to get some stuff off my mind and I would definately sleep better then. So much in my mind. I wish they have expiry dates and would disappear when the time comes. Oh well...

2 comments:

hoydenmel said...

well that's when you start blogging and 'someone' reads it and goes 'owhh shucks i shud have been up to keep him company!'
the guilt factor always works. :p
next time.. call me ler... i'll TRY my very best to wake up and chat wif u.
for real.

Anonymous said...

pftttttt.... yea right :P Can barely contact you when you are online let alone when you are asleep.