Right and Wrong ... Pt. 2

"How do you differentiate between what is the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do?"

The question has bothered me belive it or not since I was probably around 5 - 7 years old. I think my brother kinda pop the question, in a non serious manner. Of course it is not this really about right or wrong at that time. Basically at that time we were playing (it was he who was playing and I was observing actually) Command and Conquer, yup the very first one, and he told me, "You know, I think there really isn't a good or a bad side, there is never a good and evil, there is never the case of the hero and the villain -- cause in the end what decides what is good and what is evil is just where you are standing at and where are you facing at?" ... Okay he didn't really say exactly THAT ... kinda spiced it up abit, but that doesn't matter, the important thing is the idea. The idea is logically speaking, if you are standing at one side, you will always see the opponent as the bad side -- at the same time the opponent will think the same way as you, he will think his side is right and your side is wrong.


It got me wondering till now which is the correct side, who is good and who is evil? What makes what you do everyday seems so right and what makes what you oppose everyday so wrong? Is it the matter of justice? Is it the matter of which side had the majority?Is it the matter of God said so? Is it the matter of what YOU want and what is BEST for youself? I could never answer that.


Somehow, everywhere I see the question pops up. I obviously do not know the answer to the question. Everytime the question pops up, only silence appear after in my mind. But honestly in the case of the movie, would I have done the same thing as the main private investigator? Where do I stand when the question of lawfully and ethically right versus virtuously right? Which so-called "right thing to do" has a higher precedence compared to the others? In fact right now let me rephrase what I just said... everytime this question pops up in my mind, I get more questions following behind it. It's just never ending.


For now, what is considered of upmost right is what I think is lawfully right. This above all should stand when I consider the right and wrong. The voice of the majority. Against the voice of majority I would surely have fallen not long before I start. After that it would probably be the matter of what suits me best -- what I THINK is right. Many people just don't notice it, but I can say everyone thinks that they are right, if not, everyone thinks something is right when it suits them. Call it selfish of whatever, but that is the nature of humans that I am not so happy about these days. Then again, "I" was formed first before "We" -- it is only obvious that Me, Myself and I stands before the We, They and You.


I think my argument is degrading in quality by the minute. I think I would stop here. Oh yeah another great example is the piracy of films and songs that have caused a great buzz in the news lately. Do you think it's wrong or do you think it's okay to do so? I used to think "Hey, when I have the money I will buy the original ones. Right now I will stick with the pirated ones thank you very much". Now that I have worked and I could say I am financially stable I say "Okay the time is now, I buy original ones only. Piracy is just so wrong". Then one day a couple of articles, and videos I have watched convinced me to switch side again, the idea of target market.


The basic idea about the whole argument is, let us say I am not really interested in this particular movie A, I have no intention of spending 10 bucks to watch it in cinema and I have no intention to buy the DVD that might cost me 50 bucks. Fine. One day I was just bored I decided I want to watch the movie. The movie wasn't bad. But it wasn't something worth spending my money on. So I went to my PC and downloaded it and watched it and deleted it. Now the question is : Is it right or is it wrong to download and watch it? Should it matter to the company who made the movie? (Okay that was two questions). By law, yes it matters, it's illegal and doing so is against the law. Simple as that. Another alternative is, it is wrong but it shouldn't effect the company. Why? Let's just say we remove piracy from the face of the earth, I've never heard of it and the only way to watch the movie was the cinema of the DVD, another question : Would I have contributed to the revenue/loses of the company and go/not go watch the movie or buy/not buy the DVD? The answer is simply no. I had no interest in the movie whatsoever in the first place. Anything I might have done without the existance of piracy will not effect the company. Simply because I wasn't in the target market in the first place.


Okay too much information is popping out of my mind right now that I need to stop and dip my head in the ice water. Gonna catch some snooze.

Right and Wrong ...

Well it's been a while since I wrote something. I think it's only fair that I would threat my mind to a little workout after being so unproductive, even to my standards, for the past couple of weeks. Work have been fine, then again I was hoping for more in terms of opportunity. Money is good. Been lucky enought to be able to experience two pay increase for the reasons of adjusting the standard of the pay.


I don't think I have watched a lot of movies in the past couple of months. Those that I watched were mostly no-brainer-happily-ever-after shows. What caught my attention was a show I accidentally stumbled upon during one of my weekend trips to the complexes. Gone Baby Gone. Sounds like some vehicle racing show or something but nope... it's not. Basically the show revolves around a missing girl in a small slump area. Lots of things happen there. Drugs, corruption, poverty, family problems. Anyhow not to spoil the story in short there is a private investigator who was hired to find the girl and the longer he looked for her the more secrets about the place was revealed. Mysterious huh? What interest me... besides the awesome plot twists in the end is the message... the signal that awakened the question that have stayed dormant for a very long time in the back of my mind.


"How do you differentiate between what is the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do?"


If you don't want me to spoil the ending then I suggest stopping here. Probably I post in a separate post so that I don't spoil the ending for anyone who wants to see the show still.


***************************SPOILER ALERT************************************
The story ended with the head of the department incharge of lost children cases was in fact the culprit of the whole show. But his reasons were nothing but of good nature. He found out about the story behind the kid and her problematic family that he decided to work with a small number of people including the kid's uncle to fake a kidnapping and keep the child to himself where she will have a good life and what not that she could only dream of in her problematic housewhole. The head, Captain Jack Doyle starred by none other than Morgan Freeman, lost his child in a missing child case as well, which he later found the body which was roughly 10minutes away from his house. Well that's not important. What is important is what the private investigator, Patrick Kenzie starred by Casey Affleck had to do when he finds out about it. Should he call the cops and let the girl go back to her problematic family or should he stay hush and let her have a chance of a good life? He reported it and the captain was caught and the girl was returned to the druggy mother. Will discuss further in the next post.

Free...

It just feels much better writing at my current condition where I just got up from a nap at 11 at night and my mind is still in such a blurry mode and everything else just doesn't seem to matter as much. What matters is just getting something out and God knows when I would actually catch the excitement, the mixed emotion that I might have again similar to that of the current moment.


Actually it's been quite a while that I have thought of stopping this kinda writing and go on to a more casual writing of "Hey this is my cup" and smack a pick on the post of my cup. And probably the occasional opinion on certain matters. I don't seem to feel any sort of emotional let down or any negative feelings lately to write about. I guess that is a good sign.


I guess I have been eating healthy lately or I should say trying to. Just so happen last weekend I came back from my usual weekend strolls around my usual places and I held in my hand a bag full of goodies for the week and months ahead; stocking myself. And among those things I had bought a plastic wrapped of zucchini (3 of them) and a bag of apples. Why do I have zucchini? What did I have them in the first place? I seriously don't know. But since I bought them I guess I ate them. Ate the last one just today. I guess I am trying to increase my veg intake for my meals.


Second thing I brought back was jogging shoes. Yes finally my jogging shoes are there right in front of me and I just have to go for a jog tomorrow morning to try them out and ... trying to get myself healthy.


You know sometimes it feels as though I occasionally try to full myself and make myself walk in the correct direction through what you might say mental conditioning. Or maybe I am just imagining things. Oh well. Whatever it is, it is doing me good so I don't think I have any plans on going what is behind my mind at the moment.


Lately I have been talking to people about freedom. Nope not talking about the upcoming election. I am plainly talking about living free from any form of matters that might get attach to my life which could react in both good and bad ways at anytime of my life. I guess that is the best description of what I might be going through lately. From all the constant random explanation I try to give to try to explain to people how it feels like to be me, I realize something; "Free things come with a price". A bit ironic don't you think. Something is free but in reality you have to pay for it. I want to be happy and carefree, the price are the people around me. I want to have people around me, then I can't guarantee myself the carefree environment I now have.


Whether I want to or not, it seems to me I have to make a choice at least once every few years. A crucial one I might say. One that leads me to two totally different fork of the road. Do I really want to be free or do I want to feel mix cauldron full of emotions that seems currently be on a slow simmer inside me waiting to get its chance of a massive boil and spillage to my surroundings. Tough choice. Nevertheless, I feel the freedom I am feeling so far is doing good for me and I guess sometimes I have to sacrifice the time and energy that I once pour onto trying to lift myself up to people's expectations, fearing everday that I might lose someone, feeling the need to sacrifice for each and every person I know, having that feeling not on par with anyone around me. It hurts sometimes thinking about the distance past. Reminds me again and again to live a life free of everyone. Solitude is such a misused word these days...

Improv Everywhere

Recently I came upon a site or rather a blog of a group of people who organise wacky "missions" around the world where their fans or "agents" are available. But most of the time it's held in the US where this kind of gatherings are practically more acceptable. They call themselves IE short for ImprovEverywhere. They claim to be a group of people who "organise fun".


I guess a short introduction of the group would sufficient. The group itself is originally based in New York. The main objective of the group seems to cause joy and chaos in public places and boast to have thousands of agents around the world and have successfully done over 70 "missions".


What amazed me was how I felt when I read all the things they did. Literally, the first thing that seems to came into mind, I am sure it goes the same for everyone else for the first time, the things they do... kinda crazy. But it seems cooler and cooler as I read more and more of the "missions" that they went through. In the end, the whole thing gave me an impression and feeling that "Darn... I am just not living my life eventful and joyful enough".


I mean seriously, imagine yourself attending this "mission" and meeting people and having fun doing them. It's just so amazing it makes me go "Ughh... I wish I could join in".


Some of the famous "missions" are, the No Pants, which they did it like a few times not that it became some sort of celebration of anniversary for them. Basically they all including the "agents" and people who wanted to join in rides the subway and trains without pants, yup... just undies. From what I read, they had some with cops the first few times they did this and for the latest one it was quite well known that cops were actually escorting them and quite friendly compared to the last couple of times. Not my cuppa tea but yeah having a couple hundred people without pants is awesome somehow. Don't ask me why.


Besides that I think the ones that caught my attention the most are the ones that involves big stores and companies. For example, they did a "mission" in BestBuy where they actually got quite a lot of turn outs to wear blue t-shirt and khakis to resemble the BestBuy employee uniform. Mainly the objective is to go in slowly and without being detected and stand in front of aisles and provide assistance to those customers who ask them for it (thinking they are employees of BestBuy). They are also told not to say they are employees when asked but just to politely help the customer. There is a couple of similar "mission". Basically I can sum up that lower level employees are usually either puzzled or amused by it. On the other hand, management and security ALWAYS freak out. Take the BestBuy example, they were running around and talking on the walkie talkie and it involves cops. Seriously, nothing was wrong but they are just taking precautions I guess.


Another nice one is the McD's Bathroom Attendant whereby it involved like only a select few number of people at the area. What they had to do was buy some materials that you usually need when you are in the washroom and basically go into the McD bathroom and stand there and assist people to help them wash their hands, providing soap/anti bacteria solution/hand towel/etc. Which I thought was kinda cool. Seriously, it's a great idea. Why don't fast food joints have bathroom attendants? Most were amazed and amused. As usual, management is puzzled. Basically the funny thing is the manager came in and ask what was going on. The "agents" said they came from HQ to test a new bathroom attendant thing. Not believing them, they called in to HQ and realise that there is no such thing. Since there were nothing offensive or life-threatening, the manager actually thought it was still true and asked maybe they went into the wrong branch. So the "agents" successfully slipped away by agreeing to the manager.


Lots of things you can do in this world. I guess what people need sometimes is a little boost and a good company of people which just makes everything so less awkward, in fact it just might be cool.

Update #2

OK. It's been a while since I wrote something. I was suppose to write some updates on myself for the next couple of post but I guess there have been a lot of things happening that I fear that there might be too many things to cover and there will be too much post and I wouldn't have the time to write them all. So I have decided to cut short everything from where I stopped.


First of all, after two months or so in the new job a lot of things had happen. Some are good some are boring I think. All in all, the biggest news would be my salary was adjusted to a new one which was a 100 bucks more than my original salary. Sweet...


Finally my roomie manage to drag himself to my place and take all of his stuff. Now I have the whole room to myself. I have yet to do anything to it since I am pretty much lazy to move things around so basically I am left with half the room empty still. Probably I will start on it this weekend. Good news is I did wash the bathroom. Sparkle sparkle. Next step would be to plan where should everyting go, vacuum the whole place up and start moving stuffs around. Hopefully I will accomplish this by end of this week. Fingers crossed.


Though I was reluctant to go for the Switchfoot concert that was help two weeks ago, I have to admit I enjoyed myself. Great performance. Really like it when bands change the way their songs go and how they present them during live concerts. The place was indoor and cooling unlike the sweaty smelly stuffy environment of open-air concert. Plus I get to see that everyone I know is still in one piece. Though this could probably remain unnoticed by them but I am really glad that they are fine and doing well even though I have said many unpleasant things about them at times. Again good to see they are alright, that is all that mattered.


After a day or two, I was finally ready to go home to celebrate Chinese New Year (CNY) with my family. Although it's sad to say my brother couldn't make it again this time. Usually he comes after CNY when I am already back at work. This time however he couldn't make it at all since he is busy with his new job as a lecturer. Amazed still at how he can manage to become a lecturer when his temper is just the same as mine, short. The dinner was as usualy, steamboat. I have to say I am pretty much sick of steamboat and won't eat it anywhere else after CNY every year. I had my dose of steamboat for the year, thank you very much. Strange to see that a lot of people ask me why I took leave BEFORE CNY instead of AFTER. Pretty much my family is not the party hardy type. So basically the only hype about CNY is during the preparation, the dinner itself and the visits. There really is nothing much happening in my family after the second day of CNY. End of story.


CNY also marks the first time I had averagely strong alcohol (I don't drink). During the first day of CNY lunch (yes steamboat... again), my dad suddenly recalled that he had a bottle of blue berry wine that was given to him by my brother's father-in-law during one of his visits to Penang. My dad decided to give it a try since it's CNY. Basically when he got the bottle he realized that he didn't have a corkscrew. As you can see my family rarely drinks and rarely needs a corkscrew or a bottle opener. But luckily he remembered he had a Swiss Army Knife in his toolbox that had a corkscrew. I had a glass. I am not sure how being drunk feels like so I can't say I was drunk. I don't think I was at least. The taste was pleasantly acceptable. Bitterish, sourish, smells nice. But after finishing that glass, I started feeling heaty, I felt my heart pumping blood rapidly towards my head making my face kinda red. The veins on my head feels like they are gonna pop. I couldn't last a glass, bummer. I went for a nap and woke up feeling fine. Not drinking ever again... at least not for now.


After CNY I am back at work, projects are mostly done and I am pretty much relaxing the whole day. In fact I am writing this at work right now. Oh yeah I have to say my latest craze today is DiggNation. A podcast talking about the latest news on a site called Digg.com. I feel that user submitted news are much more interesting compared to the boring news I usually see on TV. Basically the show comprises of two hosts who sit at weekly locations and drink beers and wine and talk about the news they have picked. Funny and informative. I 'digg' that.


Finally I am up-to-date with my blog! That was pretty long I guess but judging from how much information is in here I guess it's not bad. Almost forgotten the main topic that pretty much amazed me. No wait... I think I was terrified by it. Last Saturday while having a full stomach from lunch, I decided to take a nap and listen to songs. The earphone I am using is pretty much a standard edition one given along with my Sony Ericsson mobile phone. It basically a average quality earplug type earphone that cancels off some of the surrounding noises. So after dozing off, I had this dream that after taking the earphones off, I was deaf! Totally soundless, I couldn't hear my voice, my heartbeat, swallowing of my saliva and not to mention the surrounding sound. I was screaming my lungs out but nothing came out, not even a vibration at my neck. Then I realize my mom was in front of me, she was saying something but I just couldn't hear anything and I couldn't quite make out what she was trying to say. I tried telling her I can't hear anything but again nothing came out of my mouth. Then I woke up feeling really freaked out and removed my earphone to make sure I can still hear. Phew. I guess I was OK.

Update #1

I guess it's been pretty long since I actually updated anything. Probably so long that it seem to be unforgivable if I were ever to feel sorry or saying I am sorry to my readers (if any) that only writing down two posts for my updates would barely make a decent package of my I'm-Sorry-It-Took-So-Long-to-Update Combo. So I guess I should just do that.


A lot have happened and there seem to be a lot that I wanted to say that I guess it would actually fit more than two posts. Then again to be save and avoid any suicidal attempts among readers for being too bored. Gosh I really don't want my name or even the name of the blog to pop up in newspaper; "Teens kill themselves with blunt objects to avoid boredom from this guy's blog". I think I can imagine that.


Enough shenanigans and on with the real deal. I guess I would stay away from the usual method of arranging all my stuff in a chronology. That would just be too plain boring I guess. Yes I like being different, sue me.


I guess I should start with my hiatus for the past week or so. Basically it's a mix of a lot of things. Life have been surprisingly good. At some point a break for humanity seems to do me a lot of good that in fact I just don't have anything much to complain about. In fact I feel pretty much at peace. Simple as that... that and the stupid insect attack. Not so much of an attack but rather I came into contact with it... while I was asleep... smearing and rolling around it. I took from the wound I received that it didn't like the contact with me either that it actually smeared toxin from the juices in its body all over my body that supposedly according to Wiki is more potent than a cobra venom. No kidding. Anyhow it was nothing new to me. My room IS facing a palm oil plantation and basically I had it before... at least not this bad. This time I was pretty much having blisters on my right knuckles, along my lower back and my left elbow. Rashes or minor ones on my right hand, upper left chest and left forehead. Yes you can imagine how bad it is. Anyhow everything is well and after being paranoid for a week it's all better.


I would probably post some gross pictures of it like in a couple of days time just to show how bad it was and also something pretty funny about the scars that it left. Here I was thinking that the first image was going to be one of my very first art that I am proud of that I make myself but instead it's going to be an image of insect bites. Great. End communication.

Joyous Sin...

Recently there is this idea or rather a proposal that I had for God. Why not make Joy a sin? I mean everyone should be miserable as shit. At one moment I thought I have gone completely insane by thinking so. But slowly my idea only make more sense as time passed. I'm not talking about what good does Joy give to you but rather what your Joy give to others?


I mean I have to admit it, there were times when intense feeling of Joy filled me. But it's long gone along with time. During that time, I have to admit that I forget certain people's well being when I was having the time of my life. There is just so much Joy that somehow it clouded my mind preventing me from thinking about those who needs a little attention from me, a pair of ears to listen to their woes. Sadly I was a jerk and I feel ashame of being joyful.


When I think back the only time I ever turn to people is when I needed something; when I was bored, when I needed a ride, when I needed something done that I can't do. You name it. The times of need brought me closer to people and I was able to share with them my misery and they were able to do so as well. I got a chance to listen to them. But I guess I screw it up everytime I have Joy.


I thought this only happen to me. Sadly it happens everywhere. When people are having the time of their lives, they tend to forget a certain someone that just didn't cry out loud enough to catch their attention. Joy is just too loud.


Part of me felt the need to have Joy. Part of me felt that it's slowly poisoning me and everyone else. Just this mix of emotion that makes me can't seem to decide. Maybe one day I would be able to make the decision. Maybe one day you will be able too. Right now I feel like the person crying out loud to my friend. Now I feel how people might have feel when I forget about them for the joyous moments that shrouded and blinded me. Call me crazy for I feel that I want to let go of Joy and lend you my ears. Would you ever do that for me in my time of dire?