Dull New Year

Sad to say that it is such a dull new year. Barely any noise outside, no count-down, no cheers, nothing except the faint glow of fireworks coming from the horizon. I have to admit, I am not very fond of holidays and celebrations. Something about the cheers and happiness that makes me feel somewhat awkward since I am the only one that usually feels much more comfortable being all alone.


Talking about awkward, remind me never never never to message her again. Everytime I do so it seems so awkward. Everytime I press Send, the next thing in mind is "Crap did I say something wrong just now ? Maybe I shouldn't have sent that". And the night goes all gloomy. I hate the feeling of hating something but at the same time I still like it. I should stop thinking about it. I should stop thinking about her. LOL.


Being a nice person is such a tough thing to do for me. Being a nice friend is even worse. I can never seem to get it right somehow with anyone. I could be having a nice time and treating them really well and all of the sudden I messed up and said something I shouldn't have said. I guess by the time I realize it, it is pretty much too late. All in all after thinking so much about it, isn't it so much easier to be the person who has no connection what so ever and does not need to be nice to everyone.


I am babbling too much... I should get back to the music playing on the background...