Honor Thy Father

Lately I've been wondering whether I've been resentful towards my own father. I guess it doesn't sound weird to most people who knows me since I rarely talk about my family members that much and I don't really mention about the people I know to my parents. I think these are just two worlds that shouldn't mix... for my own safety I guess. I don't want to wake up to a call from my dad one day going "Hey why did you dump so-and-so, bla bla bla".


Anyways, yes I don't really mention them to people close to me even. If I ever do, then it's pretty rare I guess. The reason why I've been thinking about this is, I've been having these weird dreams about my dad pissing me off somehow and making me go really mad till I can even wake up in tears of defeat lol.There goes my day. Whenever I have one of those dreams it just spoils the rest of the day.


The latest one was about how he kept asking me to do stuff. Now I am not trying to talk bad things about my dad or anything but seriously he does that a lot in real life. I wouldn't say I've quarreled with him regarding it before, but once or twice I've voiced this matter out to him. And he would sort of imply that he is trying to teach me how to do this and that by asking me to do it. Note that some of the task can range to a measly one such ask bringing the TV remote to him which is like arm's reach if he just sit up.


I remember I've sort of voiced up in quite a bad manner by telling him how he resembles a snake that don't have legs and hands. Well, I wouldn't say I regret it or anything but I still respect my dad as a father figure and anything so small doesn't really matter to me in the end. But the dreams really bother me. Do I really still keep some sort of rage and anger towards my dad? I think it's something I should find out one day.


I think being around my dad for the past 20 over years have made me sort of numb to anything that people throw at me in my daily life. Somehow the things he does or say sometimes can really be annoying and really really frustrates me. I guess that is a good thing right? LOL

Work : Age of Reckoning

Finally I have the chance to write down some stuff here again. It's been a while I have to admit. Roughly two months. Life have been hectic as well as exciting in a nerdy kinda way. Work, finally I manage to update my contract which really feels like a ton off my chest. The documents that I have to fill in was just unbearable. Three separate documents that I had to fill in that involves not only my personal information but what have I been doing for that particular year, how did I "think" I perform and much much more. Pity my supervisor though, she had to fill in her fair share as well.


Besides that, I have somehow got myself tangled up with the major leagues among my team. With the contract ending, my colleague, a great guy with vast knowledge in Linux and just that kinda person that is so persistent in making the programming world a much more exciting place, decided not to continue on with his contract and his major tasks sort of slide off into my lap. Part of me is saying oh crap and started to panic while another side of me is getting really pumped up ready to go. To be honest I am fine with the task, its just the matter of the documentation which I've already estimated to around 600 - 700 pages of it.


Life is going to suck in a way. But I guess, at some point I have to step up to a new step sooner or later anyways right? But at the mean time I am trying to enjoy my 5 day holiday as much as I can hopefully not having to focus on the task yet till much later when I DO actually finish reading the documentation.

My Headphones and Massive Paperwork

Just a bit of an update. Recently my headphone have been smashed to pieces by myself. Not intentionally of course but I really learn a lot from this headphone. Dropping it on the floor from a desk constantly is not a good idea (d'oh). Anyhow one day after it dropped on the floor, it broke to two. I am not kidding and I even got image to prove it. Apparently the metal strip frame that gives the headphone the shape sort of detached from one side of the headphone speakers and... well you get the idea from the image I guess. It was a Koss headphone. Pretty not too bad average headphone but sadly I guess it's the way it was designed that somehow it just doesn't sit properly on my table and kept dropping on the floor.


OK, the whole image is basically messed up, I know. That's why I labeled some of the parts. Number 1 is the sponges that cushions the ear. Number 2 is the curved metal frame/strip and Number 3 is the ear pieces. I guess it didn't turn out like that when I drop it. I sort of remove the metal part in hopes that I can still hang the ear pieces on my ears and use it temporary. Sadly I guess it wasn't meant for that and it didn't fit that well.


So I went and got myself a new headphone. I guess I am the proud owner of Sony MDR-V250. Nothing to brag about just a normal headphone. A bit tight on the ears, it's currently giving me a bit of a sore. Overall still pretty good headphone. I guess it's a smaller version of studio headphones. Blocks lot of ambience sounds. Pretty decent bass.


OK right back to the second issue I am having. Lately I don't know why but my department and my whole "place" in general have been doing a lot of I guess unnecessary paperwork, which is fine with me if I am not the one doing it! A lot of things regarding over job and the relationship of my position towards the big mother company itself. Honestly speaking I thought it was sort of a bull seriously. I don't mind having paperwork and what not but at least make them related to my job in the first place. Last week I was bothered with some feedback forms that I need to fill in to literally rate myself. Took me a week I guess to figure out all the bombastic business terms used in the feedback.

This week I was again bothered with a written form that explains what my job is suppose to do and all the details regarding it. To sum it up, it's what they call a job term of reference. Basically it explains what the job is, what challenges it faces, the budget... believe it or not, Skills needed, etc. The whole 9 yards. And basically I spend the whole day filling it up. You can say that I am around 90% done I guess. Honest truth I think this should be filled by only certain people in the company. Even though we are executives but I don't think we are connected strongly to the managerial site of the company and personally I think some of the things that is in there should be filled in by HR or something cause seriously I wouldn't know what is the official requirement of the job and things of that nature.


However my Assistant Manager was good enough to fill in some of the stuff like organization structure and some basic information (which I would have gladly filled in myself). Although I really think that they should have helped me fill other things like competencies required for the job, qualification requirements, job dimension, etc. Oh well, I guess I will continue to fill them in tonight. Busy day tomorrow.

Forsaken...

Again and again I have been asked about my believe in the Big Guy above, where do I stand? Do I really believe in Him? So many questions related to Him yet so little answers about Him. Is my believe in Him just to the point that He is someone I talk to and pray to at the time of need? Is it to the point that I hope for the best for everyone I know from Him everyday? Is it to the point that that I hope that what happens to me each day is from Him and what happens to me is only for my own good? Is it to the point that I have someone to blame when things go wrong? Is it to the point that I have someone to point to for all the success in me? Sigh I can't say for sure where I stand... at least today or rather the past few weeks to be exact.


Probably around Tuesday 6pm I came home to realize that my PC wasn't working... System Boot Failure. Feels like my heart have broken into thousand pieces when I realize it had crashed dragging along all my treasures of songs, animes, comics, mangas, etc. Sad but true. Today I finally manage to get a new harddisk and also send the old one to reclaim warranty as there is nothing more that could be done to save the data.


My joy for having a new harddisk was cut short when I got home and installed everything else. My other harddisk could not be detected in my Windows. But the weird thing is it is detected in my BIOS and it is also detected as a hardware in my Windows. But no drive appeared. After a few setting changes here and there, it became worse as I can see the drive now but it is claiming the drive to be not formatted and asking for permission to format it. Again... my heart broke into a few more thousand pieces as my older songs and my whole collection of mtvs are gone for good if I ever press the button format which seems to be the only thing that I could do for now.


Problems aside, I have been having these thoughts for a couple of days now while walking to work. Why did all this happen to me? Did I do something bad to deserve all this? Is He showing me another route in life that means the sacrifice of this materials? Part of me want to deny the fact that it might be His work for a greater good in me. Part of me want to blame him for what a utterly disasterous thing he could do to me to erase a whole lifetime of things... my life along with the harddisk(s). I am getting confused.


Again with the problem tonight regarding the old harddisk... the idea came into mind again. We are talking here about gigs and gigs of data that I have collected over the years :

Songs and MTVs : The many many genres that I have collected over the years showing the transition of my taste for songs. The memories that they have, the people I met that recommended me the song(s), the people I met through songs, all gone. From pop to hip hop to rock to punk rock to many others that I have gone through. All gone.

Notes and Projects : The proof that I actually did study and gone through an amazing amazing life in campus. The tortures from my lecturers and tutors, the easy going life I had in campus. All gone.

Comics and Mangas : Though they were illegal at some point, it is still things that I have treasured over the past year or two. They are like trophies to me, sense of greatness is felt in me for I am holding on to gigs and gigs of comics and mangas in my humble collection. All gone.

Though there are more things in my harddisk that I failed to mention but I think the point is pretty obvious, a lot of things were kept in my harddisks. Things that really define me. Things that made me proud. Things that kept me alive in this lonely world of mine.


Sadly all is gone now and to my surprise, I somehow felt relieve and eager to tend to a new start in life with new things to keep in my new harddisks. The good side of me says He did all this in order to give me a new start in life. Trying to get rid of illegal things from my life. For that I felt greatful and eager to accept His action and find alternatives to the illegal things. Though there are some things that I cannot part with that will still grow and be collected in my PC. Comics, Mangas and Animes. I seriously can't part with those. For the rest I am willing to change. I am in fact downloading OpenOffice to replace my old pirated version of Microsoft Office. In hopes that I might be able to reduce the amount of piracy in my life.


Don't get me wrong. I do feel devastated by the event. Thinking back about all the things I have collected over the years. But part of me question myself, since when do I rewatch, reread, relisten to all those old materials? I don't seem to be using them as much as when I first got them. Maybe it is for the best that I part with them. Maybe it is His way of telling me to get a life. Maybe He is telling to get my life straight and legal and clean.


Or maybe I am just lying to myself. Another part of me want to say screw You. You have created earth and all its greatness and You screwed up by creating a mistake which is human civilization and dump them on earth. And now You are making them suffer. I say kill all or suck it up and deal with it...

The Surrogates

I bought this comic last Saturday after browsing through and tried very hard deciding which to buy between this and Wanted. Both are 5-issue miniseries compiled together. Wanted was in hardcover and hundred bucks more. Both had pretty good storyline. In fact after coming back from purchasing the Surrogates, I have decided to get myself the Wanted miniseries anyways this Saturday LOL.



Anyways, The Surrogates is a mini series comic with 5 issues under Top Shelf Production written by Robert Venditti and drawn by Brett Weldele. For someone who is pretty tired of seeing bookstores overflowed with Marvel and DC comics, I feel that comic book lovers should give other comic book production companies a try. I've read my fine share of comics and found non-Marvel and non-DC comics to be pretty interesting as well, especially the storylines.


The Surrogate is set at the year 2054, where life have dramatically changed for most humans. Most human on earth have ushered in the era full of futuristic, cybernatic and virtual reality through their own personal surrogate. A surrogate is basically an android substitute of the human counter-part controlled through their owners from home into doing everything from going for a walk outside, working, studying and all daily routines for the humans. Humans were merely experiencing their lives instead of living them.


One thing is for sure, life was peaceful yet unfufilling to some. The Surrogate tells of the story of quiet rebellion against the usage of surrogates and how two Detectives from the Metro Police, Detective Harvey Greer and Peter Ford trying their best to uphold peace.


Overall the storyline was pretty interesting. Not too sure about the separate issues but the all-in-one is combined with extra materials like artwork and also magazine-like and report-like articles to give readers a properly understanding of the whole situation of the Surrogate world.


On the matter of graphics, well I think some people might not really like it as the line work were intentionally sketchy and coloring seems to be done with broad brushes to give the comic sort of dark and mysterious feel to it.


Apart from this, it is said that the movie adaptation of this comic starred by Bruce Willis will be out pretty soon. Hopefully this year. There is also news that a sequel The Surrogate 2.0 will be out next year. Judging from the Top Shelf Production website, the comic seems to be a great hit second printing shipping is made. I guess I picked a good one from the shelves LOL. Credits to Top Shelf Production for the images.

Ikimono Gakari - Seishun Line

Been a while since I wrote something. Can't say that I am busy since I am not. LOL. Anyhow just a short one for now. Been crazy over Ikimono Gakari band since I found out that they actually had a new album this year called Life Album. Pretty exciting. Sadly these are those bands/singers that I can't seem to get a hold of their albums in Malaysia. Sigh, we need more music varieties here!


Anyways, the song that caught my attention the most is Seishun Line. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's Kiyoe Yoshioka's powerful yet effortless voice accompanied by melodious and catchy lyrics. Here is a look at the PV:

Seishun Line

Kira kira hikaru seishun line wo
Bokura wa ima hashirida suyo
Tsunagu omoi wo yume no sakumade

Natsu no GRANDo bokura wa mujakini
Haku sen wo tobi koeteiku
Tayou sae mo te ga todokisou de
Nani mo kowa kunakatta
Kimi to sora ni egai ta
Yume wa ikutsu ni narudarou
Senaka wo tataite kureta
Sono te wo tsuyoku nigitta

Sousa kira kira hikaru seishun line wo
Bokura wa ima hashirida suyo
Mou modoranai
Zutto
Doramatiiku(DRAMATIC) na kiseki wo sagashite
Shinjiru mama te wo nobasu yo
Tsunagu omoi wo yume wo sakumade

Madohen no yuki wo yubi denazutte wa
Chiisana buna wo tabushiteita
Furikiruyou ni unazuita boku ni
Kimi wa warattekureta
Ikirishita yakusoku wo ima mo futari dakishimete
Tashika ni ooi tsuzuketeku sono te wo hanashi wa shinai

Sousa kira kira hikaru seishun line wo
Bokura wa ima yabutteiku
Mou mayowanai
Zutto
Romaantiku (ROMANTIC) na mirai wo sagashite
Shinjiru mama te wo nobasu yo
Tsunagu omoi wo yume no sakumade

Kira kira hikaru seishun line wo
Bokura wa ima koete iku wo
Mou modorenai

Sousa kira kira hikaru seishun line wo
Bokura wa ima hashirida suyo
Mou modoranai
Zutto
Doramatiiku (DRAMATIC) na kiseki wo sagashite
Shinjiru mama te wo nobasu yo
Tsunagu omoi wo...

Sousa kira kira hikaru seishun line wo
Bokura wa ima hashirida suyo

Tsunagu omoi wo yume no sakumade...

Iron Man Review

Been a while since I wrote something. I think it's time to write something more ... 'useful'? or should I say less about myself? Hmmm... I just don't want to write too much depressing stuff lately... and my life isn't that interesting anyways without the depressing parts. So I shall write review on things ! Wheee~ First thing first, thanks to my friend for the reservation of Iron Man : The Movie tickets :D Though I have to admit I kinda went paranoid and reach at the place a tad too early. But nevertheless the effort was not wasted. I got my ticket and I manage to find out that I actually CAN reach there in time to take the Aeroline bus back to Penang next time.



Anyhow back to Iron Man. Story started straight away to the point where Tony Stark is a billionaire industrialist in weapon manufacturing. During his ride home from his demo of his new weapon, Jericho, his convoy was ambushed and he was captured by terrorists in Afghanistan. Ordered to build the weapon, Jericho, he uses the resources he had and developed the first powered exoskeleton (Iron Man Mk I) and escaped from captivity.

First exoskeleton a.k.a. walking tin can a.k.a. Iron Man Mk I

Hot rod Red and Yellow... emmm me like. Feel so glossy.

Upon returning home, he had manage to improve and reconstruct a better exoskeleton. And well, the rest of the story goes that his business partner, Obadiah Stane actually planned the whole kidnapping and the distribution of Stark Enterprise weapons to the terrorist. Upon obtaining the earlier version of Iron Man suit from the terrorist, Obadiah manage to instruct his scientist to reconstruct a better suit (Iron Monger). Sadly, for him, the only thing that could generate enough power to run the suit is the "pace maker" used by Tony Stark himself to prevent sharpnels from injuring his heart. Obadiah manage to obtain it in the end and basically the epic fight went on in the city landscape.


Show ended with Tony Stark, having beaten Obadiah's suit, admitted he was Iron Man in a press conference.


For the patient viewers, after the ending credits, there was also an additional scene where Nick Fury acted by Samuel L. Jackson, came to Tony Stark and wanted to discuss with him about the Avenger Initiative. Overall, I pretty much like the movie. The suit was superbly designed. But sadly I hate it when Marvel tries to change too much of the story. Some of the changes done are :

1. Instead of Stark being in Vietnam and kidnapped by communists, he was captured by terrorists in Afghanistan. I guess this follows the current events or something.
2. Dr. Yinsen whom in the comic seems to be of Asian heritage ended up being a guy from somewhere in Afghanistan.
3. Nick Fury in the last extra scene was a little mess up. I mean I like Samuel L. Jackson being Nicky Fury and all. But that was for the Ultimate Universe, but the Iron Man they show is from the main Marvel Universe which had a caucasian Nick Fury.

Besides that I also don't really like the idea of him not having a better signature villain from the comics. A lot of people, I realize, expected Mandarin to be in the show but sadly he wasn't. Too bad Mandarin, maybe next show? Another thing is I was expecting James Rhode to appear as War Machine. Sadly I think Marvel is saving the excitement for probably the next sequel.

Better luck next time...

Apart from that the show was exciting with all the breathtaking moments and occasional humour by Stark. I guess the movie live up to all the hype.